The other morning, a very upset student called in the middle of eating her bowl of cereal.
She said, “It’s really weird, but out of the blue I tried to remember what I used to make my son for breakfast, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember!”
Mind you, this particular student can remember precise details about her childhood (as well as several past lives), but when trying to recall something she did every single day for eighteen years, she was drawing a blurry blank.
Sniffling, she blew her nose loudly as she continued to share through her avalanche of tears.
“I'm filled with so much regret! Like, where the hell was I for eighteen years of his life? Was I so wrapped up in being a single mom, dating, working full time, that I wasn’t really present? Our relationship was great, and I really thought I was a good mom. But this is so distressing!”
Having dealt with the depth of regrets in my own life, I knew how intense they can be. Especially when accompanied with insistent notions that there’s nothing you can do to clean up or resolve what happened.
Most of us were raised in the “Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk” school of life, which encourages suppressing emotions and ignoring regrets. "You'll be fine; just clean it up and move on!" were the mantras repeatedly preached.
But lately, regrets seem as epidemic as Covid-19. And they're not as easily mopped up.
Honestly, can anyone claim a regret-free life. Anyone? Anyone?
As the pressure of watching rising pandemic statistics forces us into facing our own mortality, lots of life reassessment is going on. As a result, regrets that may have been subconscious, are swimming to the surface. Rapidly.
Believing you should have lived differently is a heartbreaking tragedy. It can suck you down the rabbit hole of hopelessness, crippling future choices. Honestly, nothing is sadder.
Spiritually, your capital “P” Purpose is to be able to look back on your life, knowing you completed all you were supposed to do here, lived authentically, honored your dreams, expressed your feelings. That and living from the absolute importance of connecting with others in meaningful ways.
The Regret Abyss
Resolving the burden of regrets can help you move forward in life.
How? By perceiving them as necessary kicks-in-the-butt wake up calls allows you to befriend them rather than avoid them like enemies.
Here are a few inner-focus suggestions to start dealing with regrets:
What does the regret symbolize to you? For example, not spending enough time with your Mom before she died could symbolize being uncaring or selfish.
Grieve your regret. Regret is a spiral of re-living guilt, sadness or anger but never feeling those emotions all the way to completion. Allow yourself to fully experience your feelings, with the intention of moving forward (not wallowing), which can help complete this cycle.
Ask for forgiveness (even if the person is no longer here) and clean it up in some way. Apologize from a pure, responsible place without expectation or the need for them to accept your forgiveness. A big part of that is forgiving yourself (I can help with that).
Recognize the gift of awakening. What did you learn from the choices you made? Is there more to learn?
Go deeper. Since negative reactions always have subconscious roots, dig deeper to understand what’s being triggered. I can help with that.
Although you may never remember eighteen years of making breakfast for your child, you can transform regrets into the Teachers they so desperately want to be.
Letting your tears flow over any spilt milk until they’re done, you just might discover the best way to clean up regrets.
Or that puddle of milk.
“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” – Mercedes Lackey
Royce Morales, a renowned spiritual teacher for decades, shares powerful breakthrough tools to get to the roots of self-sabotaging programming to create a life you truly deserve.
Contact Royce for a free fifteen minute consultation to see if this work is a good fit.
Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings: “Want: True love, past lives and other complications;” “Know: A spiritual wake-up call;” and “Back: Rebirth After Stroke,” all available on amazon.com