Updated: Feb 27
Don't mean to be nosey, but how many personal growth seminars have you attended? How many times have you sat across from a therapist complaining about your terrible childhood? How many affirmations/visualizations/power of intention/chanting practices have you tried?
As Dr. Phil would say, So, how’s that working for you?
The primary reason so many of these techniques and practices don’t work is they’re all about trying to squash or get rid of various aspects of yourself.
Those parts you judge as not being acceptable.
They attempt to annihilate anger, crush fears, hide insecurities, pretend to be okay, cover negative thoughts with fake positivity.
This is trying to shame those horrible parts into submission, hoping they’ll slink out the back door and just leave you alone. Never. To. Return.
However, any method with the goal of eradicating whatever you believe is bad, ugly or unlovable, ultimately works in the complete opposite way.
Simply put, whatever you resist persists.
The more you force something, the stronger the automatic resistance. It's an unbreakable, Universal Law kind of like gravity.
Just keeping you safe
There’s a primitive, fear-based part of your consciousness that’s very attached to those so-called negative aspects. To its way of thinking, those parts are keeping you “safe” and have been doing their job for a very long time.
Perhaps your entire life. Or lives, if you believe in reincarnation.
Anger has been trying to protect you from perceived danger; memories of old pain are trying to make sure you don’t go through similar situations; negative thoughts are just keeping people away that you believe might hurt you; insecurity allows you to safely hide.
To this programmed part of your consciousness, it’s all about what looks like the best way to safely survive. Even if it really isn’t. But you can't convince it of that.
Tying to force out that part only generates more resistance. It’s like fighting an endless war that gets bigger and more gruesome, each side desperately trying to win, neither side just sitting at a table listening to the other’s concerns.
Needless to say, it’s a bloody mess with the stronger side always coming out the winner.
And, guess which is the stronger side in your inner war? Yep, the primitive fear-based one.
Higher Consciousness view point
Since what you resist persists, the first important step toward changing yourself is, you guessed it: Acceptance.
Not just the parts you’ve labeled as okay, or the aspects you’ve deemed worthy of love. It’s about accepting all of you, especially those parts or qualities you’ve judged or have expertly hidden.
Acceptance doesn’t imply that you should WANT those parts, but rather you're “okay” with them being there. Like tolerating living with a terrible two year old or a rebellious teenager knowing that eventually they'll turn out okay.
Keep in mind that your Higher Consciousness (your spirit, who you really are) absolutely knows there’s nothing to fix about you.
It knows that your purpose here is to remember who you really are by going through the lessons you’ve chosen for yourself in this human existence. It knows that trying to destroy or avoid those lessons only makes them stay longer. And get bigger.
Remember, what you resist persists.
The inner journey
Transformational work that works is like a sculptor meticulously chiseling off pieces of marble to discover the beauty what's inside, hidden under layers, waiting to emerge.
It's not smashing it to smithereens, impatiently hating the marble getting in the way of the masterpiece of YOU.
How can you be the sculptor of your life?
By getting to the core of repetitious patterns by finding their sources; by remembering and releasing subconscious, life-shifting moments that have negatively programmed you.
Ultimately, you discover your complete, powerful, woke, alive self.
All from a place of demilitarized, non-resistant, self-love.
Ready to dive into your spiritual journey of loving self-discovery?
Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual teacher who has been teaching breakthrough, core, inner transformational work for decades. Her trailblazing, life-shifting work presents profound spiritual concepts, providing tools to make them applicable in down-to-earth ways. These powerful teachings get to the root of subconscious, fear-based programming so that stuck issues and repetitious patterns can resolve.
Royce offers continuing group classes, has an e-course and is available for private inner journey sessions using the powerful, clearing technique she developed. If you’re tired of the struggle, want to connect with who you really are, feel ready to live a meaningful, empowered life, give Royce a call for a free consultation. Deserve!
Royce is the author of three books about her teachings: “Want: True love, past lives and other complications;” “Know: A spiritual wake-up call;” and “Back: Rebirth After Stroke.” Her books inspire evolution, awareness and empowerment. The underlying message is a wake-up call toward authentic "heart-wired" acceptance of self, others and life, all available on Amazon.