There’s a "Noble Truth" in Buddhism that says the root of all human suffering is expectations.
Right now, as you wait for pandemic life to go back to “normal,” punctuated by the uncertainty of the election results, watching institutions you once held sacred tremble, you’re probably filled to the brim with expectations.
And the noble suffering that comes with it.
Or should I say no-bull?
What are Expectations?
Here's an analogy: Rain, no matter how hard it pours, is silent, until it hits sidewalks, trees, cars, umbrellas and such?
Well, it's the same with the energy that manifests dreams to come true... until it's thwarted by your expectations getting in the way.
Expectations are fearfully needing something to be a certain way, believing that if it is, it will make you happy, fulfilled or loved. If something doesn’t fit those needy demands, suffering starts – you get angry, sad, hopeless and may try manipulating to get whatever it is to be how you need it to be.
Advertisers will never tell you this Higher Consciousness Truth: Happiness from and external place will not last very long. (Chant in the background: "Buy more things buy more things!")
True happiness is an inner state of well-being, not dependent on circumstances at all. It’s trusting that, no matter what's going on, you are okay and all is okay in the Universe.
I see it as bringing happiness, love and fulfillment to your life experiences, rather than trying to extract them from the experience.
In other words, only you are responsible for your own happiness.
Being non-expectational doesn't mean you walk around in Pollyanna bliss all the time, or that your head is buried in sand of denial. You’ll still have challenges and may feel anger or grief. The difference is, you hold them as teachings, leading you to discover what they're really about, knowing they are ultimately assisting your journey.
So, just smush those pesky expectations and you’ll live happily ever after, right?
Well, easier said than done. Especially since your primitive, fear-based consciousness and programmed belief system has an endless list of very specific requirements dictating how those demands have to show up.
That part of you is completely convinced that eventually something will make you happily-ever-after, even though that fantasy has never worked yet.
Higher is Right
On the other hand, your Higher Consciousness (spirit) knows that each and every moment is perfect, whole, and complete. It’s when you get pulled to those “what ifs” or “buts” that expectations take over and rain gets really noisy.
Your spirit knows you have the power, wisdom and creativity to find answers and soul-utions. It helps you be open to whatever happens, knowing you are exactly where you need to be to get whatever you’re supposed to get.
In that Higher place, you trust the process of life, allowing it to be your Best Teacher, guiding you toward remembering your Biggest Life Purpose – giving, receiving and being Love.
Truth About Expectations
Here it is: It may seem like you have expectations on others, but ultimately, they are always on yourself.
There are many reasons for this, but it boils down to untrue programmed beliefs about what you deserve. “I don’t deserve to be happy and fulfill my wants.”
Subconsciously, you then put expectations on others to avoid taking responsibility. Then, even if they try, they can’t ever fulfill those wants.
The suffering begins. You get angry at them (really at yourself). You may leave the situation or try to find other ways to fulfill your expectations.
This vicious cycle goes on, ad infinitum.
How to Tell
The good news is, noticing expectations will provide blatant clues to get you to discover what’s lurking underneath them, especially deep-seated deservingness issues. (I can help with that)
Often, just recognizing something as an expectation, rather than blaming the external circumstance, deflates its power significantly.
You can easily tell if something is an expectation simply by observing emotionally charged thoughts insisting: “This should be different” (Translation: “I should be different.”)
Then, tell the truth to yourself: What do you really want? It’s probably whatever the expectation is symbolic of to you (love). And always something you believe you can’t give yourself (love).
So, what noble suffering are you ready to give up so you can manifest your dreams?
Royce Morales, a renowned tranformational facilitator for decades, shares breakthrough tools to discover and resolve the roots of negative, self-sabotaging programming. Create the life you deserve!
Contact Royce for a free fifteen minute consultation to see if this inner-journey work is a good fit.
Royce is the author of three fascinating books about her teachings: “Want: True love, past lives and other complications;” “Know: A spiritual wake-up call;” and “Back: Rebirth After Stroke,” all available on amazon.com